Living in a fish bowl

During my interview to become a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) I was asked: how do you feel about living in a fish bowl?  (i.e. Nothing being private, everyone knows everything about your life, even things that you did not know about yourself, and everyone throughout the community talks about everything you do).  I enthusiastically replied, without even thinking, “Oh, I love living as an example and love when people always look at me. I embrace it.”  My answer at the time was so because I had worked with so many different types of kids and adults.  In my previous jobs I was a leader or a role model so I constantly needed to be aware of my actions and what I said, and I enjoyed it.  My reply to the question was not a lie or a rehearsed interview answer.  I was answering the question with confidence, honesty, and experience.   Little did I know how serious that question was to being a PCV, and how I had no idea how much of a fish bowl volunteers truly are in within their communities.  Have you ever been starred at in public?  Do nosy neighbors always gossip and know where you are, what you are doing, and who is visiting ALL THE TIME?  I have had my fair share of being starred at in Arizona, but that is nothing compared to here. 

Let me tell you about another experience being an “extranjero “in the Dominican Republic. When we got to the DR, there were the usual “piropos” like whistling and “Americano give me 5 pesos” or “taxi, taxi, taxi”.  All this is more annoying than anything.  When we arrived in our barrio I slowly learned how important it was to express who you are in terms of telling people about yourself, in limited Spanish of course.  Sharing our culture and who we are as individuals is very important, this gives our neighbors information about us and also beats them to the punch of making things up about the Americano as well.  “These people” (Tina gets a kick out of that when I say it/so ironic) love to talk.  Everyone calls themselves “hablador.” If a man screams out a “piropo” like “hola linda” and the women doesn’t respond she is called “fea”.  In my opinion I can understand that; she doesn’t have to walk up to him and give him her number, but to just acknowledging his complement is enough.  In the Dominican culture they also point out if you are fat, skinny, dark skinned, tall, or short, and they get your attention by calling you these names. Needless to say, no topic is off limits.  Like when I took a cacoa (chocolate) tour, the guide expressed that this natural food gives you “potencia” (translation= baby making power).  No wonder I love hot chocolate so much J.  While using public transportation, you are likely to have a conversation with the person sitting next to you, or a conversation about religion may break out amongst everyone on the bus.  Everything is openly talked about here, “sin vergüenza.”

So back on topic to being in a fish bowl, it is important to be your own marketing strategy.  By this I mean being a “hablador”, letting people know about yourself and what you do before you give them a chance to talk randomly and make up things about the foreigner.  Whenever I leave or return to our barrio it feels like the walk of shame because I should be living economically like my neighbors but instead I am traveling, visiting other volunteers, and experiencing the culture to the fullest.  I can’t even count the times I have given excuses why I have to leave instead of saying going to recreate at the beach because all work and no play just is not healthy.  Even when I have a legit excuse like going scuba diving to do a research dive for a natural museum, Spanish training in the capital, or presentation planning with other volunteers, all they hear is that I am going to the beach.  When returning from a trip and you’re a few shades darker with a few more bags than when you left, how do you explain this?  Well, you try to run into the house before anyone can see, though everyone usually sees everything.  If I were not to stretch the truth then they would know for a fact that we are “rich” and they would expect things from us.  Choices, choices, choices. 

When Tina leaves, and I am home alone it seems like everyone knows that Tina “dejarme solo”.  One instance I do remember one of the youth came over and grabbed the dishes and washed them for me.  This was such a friendly gesture.  We ended up talking and sharing some hot chocolate that was freshly grown from the “cacao” trees just north of here.  One day around noon I was walking and I was told by a neighbor that they had rice and I should come over.  Later I walked over and he was taking a nap on the concrete floor without a shirt.  He said, “enter, enter no problem.”  He made a slow gesture to get up, but as he was getting up his girlfriend came in.  He then sat back down and asked her to get me a plate of food (rice, beans and chicken).  I then proceeded to indulge in the meal that I have grown so accustomed to; if it’s noon, my stomach feels like it’s going through withdrawal if I am not eating it.  As they watched me eat, they asked how to I eat if Tina is not here.  I told them that I can cook as well.  I might not like it, but I will cook to eat. 

This proves that being a “hablador” is very important especially in trying to accomplish Peace Corps goal #2 “to share American culture with Dominicans”.  A part of the American culture that I have learned and like is that couples work together and share responsibilities.  If my partner is gone then I will pick up the slack.  Because this county has so many welcoming, friendly people, being a “hablador” is easy, all we need to do is work up the courage to use the language and communicate.  You don’t need to talk about anything too technical; just saying that the breeze is nice is a conversation starter.  So now when walking the barrio and I see a smiling face, I will say, “y su family”, and continue my peace corps work of sharing and learning cultures. 

Graduation of my English class

Youth English class

Isla Saona July 4th